broken.. but moving on..

i know i had a hard life.. harder than some but not as hard as others.. but i decided long ago that i can either wallow in my own sorrow or get over it and get on..

i have live a life, that compared to others would seem to have been filled with great sorrow and unhappiness.. i wish i didn't live "the best years of my life" in the dark.. i wish i didn't spend so many nights crying T_T or so many days hoping that all this pain would end somehow..

i wish i had the courage to speak up, and let people know who i really was.. they just know me as the cheerful and happy girl i pretended to be.. some says that they envy me because all they see through me is a person whose life is so bubbly and colorful.. but the truth is, the real me hides in the dark.. i was so down on myself even when i had people who cared about me.. i let some people in but kept them at arms length.. they didn't see me.. they wouldn't see nor hear the words the way they were intended..

i did not want anyone to feel sorry for me, never did i want anyone to tip-toe around this aspect of my life.. it happened and i had no control over it.. it was not the easiest of lives to lead..

so i live my life to what i feel to be, to the fullest.. my only goal is to be happy and to those around me to be happy as well.. i am content to move on to what is next..

my whole life, all i really wanted was a little peace and some love here and there..

but.. c'est la vie..

My Finale Performance.. Awwwww!

I've won in a singing contest, can you believe it?.. LOL! :))

Ikaw na aking Idolo.. ( Donna Cruz )

This is the poem I wrote for my idol.. :)

Ikaw na aking Idolo, hinangaan simula noon
Ang buhay ko ay umiikot sa iyo magpasa hanggang ngayon
Ang bituin na dati ay kay layo, ngayo'y kay lapit na
Isang pangarap noon, ngayo'y katuparan na pala

Sa aking paglaki ikaw ang nakikita
Ang taglay mong ganda at talento sa pagkanta
Isang paghanga sa isang taong napakaganda
Hindi lang ng mukha, ng talento at ugali pa.

Ang aking kalungkutan noong aking kabataan
Laging naiibsan kapag ika'y naririnig na kumakanta
Sa radyo, telebisyon, pelikula at magasin man
Hindi pinapalampas ang lahat ng iyan.

Ikaw ang pumuno ng kasiyahan ng puso ko
Na hindi nakuha sa pamilyang mayroon ako
Kaya ako masaya sa buhay kong ito
Dahil may isang kagaya mo na nagbigay ng kulay sa buhay ko.

Sa bawat sulat na iyong sinasagot
Isang masayang ngiti na hanggang langit umaabot
Sa isang tagahangang katulad ko na umaasa
Na kahit isang sagot sa sulat ay sobrang saya na.

Sa aking pag-aaral ang naging inspirasyon ay ikaw
Mga payo sa sulat na pagbutihin aking pag-aaral
Parang isang mensahe ng nakatatandang kapatid
Na gumagabay sa isang batang paslit.

Sa Donnanian's na grupo aking nakilala
Ang bagong pamilya na sa akin ay nagpapasaya
Kami ay binuklod dahil sa pagmamahal namin
Sa isang bituing may ngalang ate Doings!

Sa pagdaan ng panahon ang paghanga di ibinabaon
Laging nasa puso at doon ginawang inspirasyon
Sa bawat agos ng buhay andoon ka at parating karamay
Ang mga awitin mo ang siyang nagbibigay buhay,
sa aming mga pusong nangalulumbay.

Huwarang artista sa lahat ng tao
Isang taong may mabuting puso
Isang mabuting anak, asawa at ina
Isang idolo at insiprasyon ng lahat ng tao.

Ako ay nangangarap sana isang araw
Na masilayan ang iyong ganda na nakikita lang sa balintataw
Sana pagdating ng araw na iyon, ang tagpo ng Idolo at isang
tagahanga ay iuukit ko sa aking puso.

 

"Donnanians" from Fans to Friendship..

Meeting new people is really a great experience and becoming close them is somewhat so unexpected.. I always had a great time chatting with them everyday, there is no dull moments..

 

 I LOVE my Donnanians Family! awwwww!

Closer to my Idol Donna..

Life right now as a Fan is really amazing and unbelievable.. Getting a Fan Sign from one's Idol is such a great achievement.. (really that great!) hahaha!

and my Idol "loooves" me.. hahaha! (that's what i asked her to write.. nyahaha!)

a Donna Cruz AVID fan..

I'm really an AVID fan of Miss Donna Cruz.. The proof is all the magazines, magazine and newspaper clippings, poster, photo albums and recordings of her that i still have in my possession until now.. hahaha!

It started when i was 8 years old.. and now I'm already 28 years old.. I'm still a BIG FAN! awwww!

I am Happy right now and truly blessed..

I don't really have a normal childhood, not normal in the sense of not having a complete family to mold me.. But that was all in the past now.. I'm already 28 years of age.. and I'm proud to say that eventhough God didn't give me a family to call my own.. I'm very lucky to have my Mommy, Mama, Aunties and Friends (lot's of them) that accepts me and love me as i am..

I am Happy right now and truly blessed from all the people that surrounds me.. Thank you! God for loving me unconditionally and for giving me those wonderful people around me..

it's been 5 years.. awwww!

Oh! my! it's been 5 years since my last post here in blogger.. Many things had happened in my life, and it seems just yesterday.. I really miss my old self.. I miss writing my emotions and what i really feel.. and now i'm back..

Am i Ready? ready to write anything.. or it's just another rants.. awwww! i don't want to go back on that time..

Let's wait and see..